Do you get sucked into a fight over homework with your child every night?
So many parents tell me that this is one of their top struggles with their kids.
Bit by bit, the parenting journey which had started off being so exciting and rewarding, was turning into a stressful game of one-upmanship.
Depending on what happens on the night, every child is conceived with a unique combination of genes which also maps out their strengths, weaknesses and personality traits before they are even born. But as an innately modest and sensitive child, she decided she did not want to play.
Even though you reason, lecture, nag and yell, nothing seems to change — and each night turns into a battle with no victors. I have to admit that dealing with my son’s homework was one of my least favorite experiences as a parent.
It felt overwhelming to me; often, I just wasn’t equipped to offer the help he needed.Here’s something I learned along the way: homework is work, and there’s no getting around that fact. It’s important to understand that schoolwork is often the most difficult part of your child’s busy schedule.Helping your kids manage it despite all the other activities they would rather be doing can be challenging at best.Remember that it’s your child’s job to go to school and learn (including getting homework completed) and your job to provide for your kids, run the house and offer love and guidance to your children.I know from experience how easy it is to get caught up in power struggles over homework.So I was facing two choices – Should I stand over her and insist that not doing homework was NOT an option? The choice I would make now is very different to what my choice would have been a few years back.Or, should I tell her to put the books away, write a note to her teacher and just let her unwind and play in the lead-up to bedtime? If you’ve tried yelling, time-outs and punishment, but it only seems to make matters worse, give Positive Discipline a shot.While it would be easier if all children were self-motivated students who came home, sat down and dug into their homework, this just isn’t going to be the case with most kids.As James often said to parents, “We need to learn to parent the child we have – not the child we’d like them to be.” Our role is to guide our children, support them through the challenging tasks, and teach them about personal responsibility.Not only does it help you eliminate power struggles, but soon your kids will be voluntarily choosing cooperation and good behavior!Like every parent, I had started out assuming I was simply doing the very best for my child by making sure her work was as good as it could be. From the very early days in the private nursery she attended, I found myself surrounded by lots of other mothers locked into the same race to make their children the brightest and the best.